Thursday, August 28, 2008

Honors 4010 and My Brain

So I'm in this class that's through the Honors Program here at SUU. I think it's going to end up being one of the coolest classes of my college experience. We watched a video clip from called 4AM is the New Midnight


and then had a seminar on it. That was on Tuesday. Today we had a long and intricate lecture (kind of...if you could really call it that) on, well, anything and everything. It just kind of went wherever it wanted to. Tangents are desirable in this class. Well, we have a new assignment that will last the length of the semester and it's pretty much just mapping out what our brain is thinking. We're supposed to tie it all in with the class, so this is just going to be a practice. I'll start on the real meat and potatoes sometime next week after I figure out some style I prefer. So when I got home from classes I was eating lunch and I got my notebook and started writing. These are today's random thoughts during a late lunch:

"So I was slicing up a tomato for a salad thinking about this assignment and for the first time in my life it felt like nothing was jangling around in this brain of mine. Then I realized I had a song stuck in my head (not a rare occurance--actually, I can't imagine NOT having a song stuck in my head.) It's a Relient K song I'd listened to on my iPod (love that thing) on my walk home from campus. It's a song called Mood Rings and it's about how emotional girls should wear mood rings to warn guys. I realized that often I think of myself a OUTSIDE of most things--like, "yeah, emotional girls should wear mood rings--I wouldn't have to." But then I thought of the line about if the ring is clear then she's emotionless. What kind of horrible world would that be if no one had emotions? Movies and music and art wouldn't appeal to us--heck, probably none of those things would even exist! There would be none of that Honor's Program passion that Nickerson is so, well, passionate about. No love or mercy or compassion. We'd all be a bunch of Heinrich Himmlers running around not caring about others so we'd steal or murder--or perhaps we'd just do absolutely nothing like the fat people on Wall-E (cute movie, by the way).

Thinking of Relient K I have another one of their songs stuck in my head now--Who I Am Hates Who I've Been. For me that statement of a title is true and false, now that I think about it. Sometimes I really do want to go out and bury myself in a gravel pit for some of the dumb things I've done. But just now I realized that I wouldn't be who I am if I never was who I've been. And for perhaps the first time in my life I like me. I mean, of course I want to improve on just about everything about me, but I'm realizing that I'm not that bad. I'm not trying to sound cocky, because really I'm not, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm more comfortable with myself than I've ever been before.

Oh my, this tomato tastes kind of nasty. Probably because it was kinda shrivelly--which is why I ate it, before it went completely bad. You know, I'm amazed that more college students don't die of food poisoning. Seriously, because I also think this milk I'm drinking is sour. But then, Kelly thinks I have some sort of complex about sour milk. I probably do--Kelly's always right somehow. I love Kelly. How did I get so lucky? Ironically enough, it was Kelly who introduced me to Relient K all those years ago. Oh, the weird connections in life and the crazy disjointed randomness of my brain. But really, now I am quite sure this milk really is sour."

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