A ol' man and a ol' woman was settin' on th' porch, don't you know.
Th' ol' woman said, "You know what I'd like t' have?"
Ol' man said, "What's 'at?"
She says, " A big ol' bowl of vaniller ice cream with choc'late sauce an' nuts on top!"
He says "By jing, I'll jus' go down t' th' store an' git us some." She says, "You better write that down or you'll fergit it!"
Went to th' store, come back a good bit later with a paper sack. Hands it over, she looks in there, sees two ham san'wiches.
She lifted th' top off one of them sand'wiches, says, "Dadgummit, I told you you'd fergit! I wanted mustard on mine!"
A farmer was haulin' manure, don't you know, an' 'is truck broke down in front of a mental institution. One of th' patients, he leaned over th' fence an' said, "What're you goin' t' do with that manure?"
Farmer said, "I'm goin' t' put it on my strawberries."
Feller said, "We may be crazy, but we put whipped cream on ours!"
"No rest for th' wicked, an' the righteous don't need none."